


harry stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash

by daddy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, This is a crack fic, also dont get me wrong i love the parma ham story, but i hope this changes yr life, dont take this seriously, emphasis on the crack but i was not on crack when i wrote this, im drug free, learn to love yourselves, mozzarella stuffing, this probably isnt offensive but yall like to find ways to be offended by smth, wuz geewwwwd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:04:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddy/pseuds/daddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry stuffs louis with lies. louis stuffs harry with mozzarella</p>
            </blockquote>





	harry stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on my phone during web design class cuz i didnt feel like making a website abt the 7 wonders of the world and this is the seventh wonder: the parma ham story
> 
> this isnt supposed to be taken seriously mmmmmmmkay

"guess what everyone is talking about on twitter????" louis says, giving a sloppy kiss like a dog to harry's cheek. 

"me cheating on u with grimmy?" harry asks

"what?" 

"nothin" harry says, side eyeing. like that blue moon emoji. 

"did u cheat on me with that rat ?????"

"no! i love u and only u louis plwase i swear"

"oh really.........then explain this..............................." louis points at rat reeth marks on harry's neck. 

"it was nothin.....................grimmy was being feisty! please lou i didnt cheat"

":/" louis said. he squints his eyes at haryr

"they were talking about the chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mashed potatoes." 

"that again??? it wasn't even good. had 2 eat toothpaste 2 get rid of the taste."

louis looks offended, gaping at harry (not his asshole, his mouth).

"are u quite FINISHED???????" louis EXCLAIMS! ANGRILY! in his daddy voice

louis pulls harry's hair. harry whimpers "how would u like it if i stuffed that mozzarella somewhere else?"

"like a trash can?" 

louis slaps harry on all 4 cheeks. hard. “dont be rude 2 daddy. im going 2 the store to get Le ingredients... prepare yr asshole." 

\---_-_-_-__-_-_--________------_-_-_-_-_-__-_-___-_-_---_-_-

louis walked in on harry alreafy naked and fuckign himself w a Brit award. 

harry panted "it was a tiny man. reminded me of u bae I had to"

that made louis furious. "im not TINY! im average. and I shouldnt even let u get prep this could've been a fic where u got no prep but Dimitri isnt that cruel."

louis ripped the brit award from Harry's asshole. harry cried out! "louis, careful anal tearing!" he cries in anguish

"ur anus will be cared for when I stuff it with mozzarella bae"

"mozzarella?????? I like cheddar" harry does an annoyed face

"well ur not gonna taste it unless I shove it in ur ass deep enough that u do taste it. is that wat u want sweet baby?"

"no daddy!"

louis smiles! he loves harry. hes only doing this cuz he loves him. and he only knows how to make chicken stuffed mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash.

"lay on the bed baby"

"k" harry lays on the bed and spreads his legs for louis.

"mmmmmmmm" louis says while retrieving a bag of mozzarella from the grocery bag.

"ur gonna be my chicken tonight" louis whispers huskily against harry's hole. 

louis grabs a pinch of shredded mozzarella cheese with 3 fingers and guides it 2 harrys hole, shoving harry's hole with cheese. he keeps repeating that a few times , listening to harry moan.

"feels good lou. fills me up better than ur cock ever did"

"shut up its cheese my dick aint that soft"

louis stops shoving cheese in harry's anus when the bag of mozzarella empties out. he gets a bag of parma ham next from the grocery bag .

"since there's no ham big enough to wrap u in ima put tiny pieces of ham all over ur body"

"ooo thank u daddy"

louis rips the slices of ham into tiny bits to spell out LOVE on Harry's chest. "cuz I love you" louis justifies to harry. he puts a tiny piece of ham on harry's nose

"now," louis says, retrieving a tub of frozen mashed potatoes. "I didnt make it but it says homemade so :)"

"wat r u going to do with that daddy?"

"im going to cover you in it of course and its going to be cold so I dont want u to make a single noise"

louis gets a spoon. from where? idk but he has one so he scoops some homemade mash and begins spreading it ALL OVER!!!!! harrys body. except his curls. Harry only whimpers but louis lets it slide.

louis finishes, voila, and he is sooo happy !!! harry has to stay completely still and he looks like a mashed potatoe mummy lol. 

louis finds harrys face through the mashed potatoes and kisses his mouth yuck cold homemade mash

"wait a few minutes pls bae"

"mmm" is all he gets in reply 

louis takes out his samsung galaxy s5. (way cooler than an iphone) and takes a pic of harry all laid out. he edits the pic to make a black box over harrys dick. (its a long black box.)

he posts the pic on twitter with "Louis art" and sends the tweet.

the replies r all instant .

@cockteaselouis: @Louis_Tomlinson If u bake him at 360° u can get him to a nice golden color

@tomlindaddy: @cockteaselouis @Louis_Tomlinson smh no fiore it's 540° 

@astrolougy: @tomlindaddy @cockteaselouis @Louis_Tomlinson u dont bake mashed potatoes

louis favorites all their tweets and follows them later. but he isn't going to bake Harry

he prefers stir fry 

louis hears a muffled sound and turns around to see harry rising from the bed covered in mashed potatoe 

“louis please help me the cheese is falling out of my asshole it feels weird :(“ harry whimpered and pouted as he shook his bum some more as more cheese fell out. like snow

louis looked down to see harrys tiny butt leaking mozzarella cheese. ah yes this is wat love feels like

**Author's Note:**

> i love fiore yelena and yessi i had 2 include them i admire them 2 much


End file.
